I recently reached a ‘creative standstill’ in my painting, and here I share how I assisted and supported myself to apply being Solution Oriented in order transform this scenario from an emotionally charged experience, to a learning experience and opportunity to specify, redefine, and expand myself in relation to my process of skill development in painting.
Here is the Self Forgiveness that opened up, in relation to the points shared in the video:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when reaching a ‘creative standstill’, where nothing I’m doing / trying is producing results that I like, to immediately react within an emotional experience of feeling disempowered, failure, uselessness, pointlessness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret creative standstills to mean that ‘this is not for me’, and ‘this is pointless’, because ‘this is not working’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my creative standstill was actually a practical feedback point showing me that I had rushed into ‘trying to make what I want / see in my mind’, without having walked effectively through the skill development process — where, I actually set myself up for disappointment / things not working, because I was focusing too much / aligned in my ‘who I am’ too much within my mind within the vision of the ‘finished product’ that I Want and Desire to Experience, and I had neglected to effectively research the techniques and materials, and neglected to walk the actual step by step actions of actually practicing the techniques, instead assuming ‘I’ll just find something that works through experimenting on my own’.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that my tendency / pattern of reacting to ‘things not working’ within emotional experiences of disempowerment, failure, and uselessness, is actually a protection mechanism to not have to face my self honesty, which is that I’m not wanting to change myself by putting in the time and effort to develop a skill effectively, and instead wanting to hold onto what I imagine / see in my mind and just ‘wanting it to happen now’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the pattern of ‘focusing primarily on what I can imagine as potential / vision in my mind, and assuming / expecting that ‘I will just be able to do it’, instead of seeing and realizing that physical reality / living doesn’t work that way
I commit myself to re-assess what I am wanting to create / develop in my painting, and to remind myself to slow down, and identify as much as possible actual physical techniques, supplies and methods related to what I want to create, and to – for the moment let go of ‘wanting any outcome’, but rather, now that I’ve identified the physical actions required to develop, to be okay with the fact that I am in the ‘development / learning’ stage
I commit myself to stop rushing when I am researching and learning and practicing a skill, and to remind myself that I am not ‘missing out’ on ‘what I want’ — I am in fact walking the practical reality of how to create what I want
I commit myself to remind myself to be flexible with what I want to create because – I don’t KNOW what is in fact practical / doable until I determine whether it is or is not through practical skill development and practice
When and as I find myself reacting within emotions of frustration, disempowerment, uselessness, and failure as I am working on art – I commit myself to slow down, breathe, and remind myself that the emotion doesn’t indicate that ‘everything is fucked’, lol – but rather it is feedback showing that I have approached the point from a starting point that was not entirely practical – and that I have been functioning within some point of desire / want – which actual physical reality has not ‘conformed to’, and so it is an Opportunity that is presenting itself / opening up, for me to re-assess, redefine, specify, change, and expand ME